For the discerning snob, the art of creating the perfect minimalist biscuit requires great precision and a dash of existential dread.
Step 1: Choose a biscuit shape that defies the conventions of the bourgeois circle.
Step 2: Apply a coat of artisanal jam made from the finest imported berries.
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Step 3: Add a dash of existential dread with an avant-garde sprinkle of edible gold dust.